5 Tips from a Bereaved Mom after Child Loss

Grief and loss following the death of a child

Dear Grieving Mom,

I see your pain. The silent tears. The aching emptiness in your heart. I know it because I’ve walked this road too. Losing a child changes everything—your identity, your world, and your sense of self. But as impossible as it feels, you will survive this unimaginable loss. You’re not alone, though this journey can feel unbearably lonely. I, and countless others, walk this road with you, even in silence.

Over the years, I’ve learned a few lessons that have helped me navigate this path. While everyone’s grief is different, I hope these insights offer you comfort, connection, and perhaps, a way forward.

1. Focus on Their Life, Not Just Their Death

Shifting your perspective from the loss to the love you shared can bring unexpected gratitude. Reflect on the moments that made your child unique—their laugh, quirks, and passions. Celebrate their life, not just their passing. My daughter Katie wasn’t defined by the moment she died; she was defined by her big laugh and love for whipped cream on her coffee.

2. Find Your Tribe after Child Loss

There’s no greater comfort than connecting with others who truly understand your pain. Whether it’s an in-person group or an online community, find grieving mothers who “get it.” The support of a compassionate tribe can lighten the heaviest burden.

Lisa's book for bereaved moms

3. Let Go of Guilt

You didn’t cause your child’s death, and there’s nothing you could have done to prevent it. Instead of asking “What if?”, shift to “What now?” Focus on what you can control, like honoring your child’s memory by living with purpose.

4. It’s Okay to Be Okay

Joy and grief can coexist. Smiling or laughing for the first time might feel strange, but it’s part of healing. Your child lives on through you, and they would want you to find happiness.

5. Prioritize Self-Care

Grieving is the hardest work you’ll ever do. Honor your body by staying hydrated, eating well, moving, and resting. You’re a warrior, but even warriors need to recharge.

Child loss doesn’t have a roadmap, but you don’t have to walk it alone. Take small steps toward healing, knowing that you carry your child’s love with you always.

Walking beside you,

Lisa K. Boehm

P.S. I’ve created a free PDF, “3 Ways to Move Forward Without Moving On,” designed to help grieving moms like you. Download it here.

FREE download for bereaved moms