Grieving the loss of a child is an unimaginable journey. As a grieving mother, the pain can feel overwhelming, making it hard to see any point in living again. While your grief is deeply personal, know that you are not alone on this path. I have been walking this path since 2015. These are my reflections.
Grief Changes Over Time
Grief is not linear. Over time, you may notice the balance between good and bad days shifting. Slowly, there will be more good days and fewer horrific ones and grief evolves at its own pace, and your journey won’t look like anyone else’s.
Physical symptoms like insomnia and loss of appetite may also begin to decrease as time goes on. But there will still be moments when grief feels all-consuming—whether it’s a song, a special date, or a memory that triggers the pain. These waves of grief are normal.
Handling the Responses of Our Loved Ones
Sometimes, those around you may believe enough time has passed and that you should “move on.” This is often because seeing you in pain is hard for them. However, grief doesn’t follow a set timeline. It is completely normal to feel deep sadness, even years after your child’s death.
Does Grief Ever Go Away?
No. Grief for your child never truly ends. You loved deeply, so you will grieve deeply. When you are living with child loss, there is no “closure”, and you will always miss your child. That doesn’t mean the pain will remain as sharp as it is now, but it will always be a part of you.
When Will It Get Better?
It’s natural to wonder when you’ll feel like yourself again. The truth is, you won’t ever be the same person you were before. Child loss changes you forever. But while the grief persists, it can soften over time. Your unique coping style, your support system, and your inner strength will all influence how and when you move forward.
Grief becomes part of your story—something you carry. The question becomes, “Where do I start?”. Here are some ways to begin coping:
Steps for Living with Child Loss
Allow Yourself to Feel: Let yourself grieve. It’s messy and painful, but feeling is part of healing.
Give Yourself Grace: Losing a child is the hardest journey you will ever face. You may stumble, and that’s okay. Take your time.
Reach Out: Child loss is incredibly isolating. Find a space to talk—whether it’s a support group or a community of grieving mothers.
Take Care of Yourself: Nourish your body with food, rest, and fresh air. These simple acts can help you cope.
Reflect on Love: Over time, you may find that your focus shifts from pain to the love you shared with your child. Allow yourself to honour those precious memories.
Be gentle with yourself, Mama.
XO Lisa Boehm
PS: If you are struggling with grief and child loss, I have created this free download for you that gives you the 3 things you can do right now to help you on your grief journey without feeling like you are leaving your child behind. You can request it here.
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